Is this Really Happening

Lately I have been having a lot of these “is this really happening” moments. And it’s in a good way because they are good moments. I don’t know if it’s because I am getting older and I feel like I am still in high school. Or maybe it’s just because these last few years have really been a whirlwind of change and huge life events. I feel like the only way to explain this is to give examples of what I am talking about, so here it goes.

Y’all know that I work in the NICU. When there is a mom over in labor and delivery having a baby that might need some help, we send a nurse and a respiratory therapist to help at delivery. Sometimes that is my job. They will tell us a little about the situation, we put on a gown and gloves, we make sure equipment is ready, then we wait. Normally it isn’t a long time, about 10 minutes or so for the baby to arrive. But sometimes that is long enough for me to realize that something big is happening. And here comes the moment I am talking about. It isn’t a panic, or even nerves or fear. It is just like how is this happening right now. How am I 24 years old, standing in a delivery room, waiting on a baby that might need help. It honestly gives me courage. Like “okay, you got this. You know what to do. You and (whatever amazing respiratory therapist is with me at the time) are it. We can do this”. And sure enough, when the baby comes, regardless of how it is doing, we go to work. We mumble things to each other, our hands cover every part of that little baby. Our hands know what to do. We call if we need backup, and if not we walk out of the room, leaving a healthy baby with happy parents. That is a good moment.

The other day, I picked up my nephew Wyatt up from school. I love being his aunt, watching him grow, and watching him learn. I am not sure if I was that smart in the second grade… But we came back to my house, ate snacks, watched youtube videos about various animals he is interested in these days, and then he wanted to go outside. It was cold. I was like ughhhhh. Let’s not. But I just don’t know how to say no to that kid. So out we go in the woods and we found some old glass bottles. He had the best time picking them out and thinking about what might have been in them and how old they were. It was pretty cool and we took some back to keep. They were dirty with mud and so we were washing them. He was standing up on a chair so he could reach the sink and he looked at me and said “hey Emily. Thanks for going exploring with me”. My heart almost exploded. Like do I really have a little person in my life who thinks that the best day ever includes snacks, youtube, and dirty old bottles from the woods? Is it that easy to make memories? I just kissed his sweet face and told him anytime, anywhere. That was also a good moment.

Last example: Getting into wedding photography kind of fell in my lap and I am beyond grateful for that because I love it so much. But no matter if it is a wedding I booked or if I am second shooting, I always get this feeling when I first get there and say hello to everyone. Like how is this happening. How am I here for the sole purpose to document this amazing day. These people have trusted me with capturing some pretty important moments that will only happen one time. No redos. It is another one of those things where I am not nervous, but I am grateful and in disbelief that I get to do this. I get to take a picture of a husband and wife’s first kiss. I get to stand on the dance floor to get sweet shots of the daddy daughter dance. I get to take the bride and groom away from their reception to capture a few moments at sunset together.

I am seriously sitting here shaking my head because I don’t know. I don’t know how these moments are happening to me. I don’t know why I get to witness miracle after miracle of not only babies being born, but also seeing itty bitty babies overcoming extreme odds and growing into strong tiny humans. Or why walking around in my backyard with my nephew made such an impact. Or how I am lucky enough to have a hobby turned side job that gives me a behind the scenes look at so many love stories. I don’t know why, but God does. I trust Him and I will put my all into every job He places me in and relationship He brings me. I read something in my study bible the other day that said, no matter if it is across the country, or next door, spread the glory of God. We aren’t all preachers or missionaries, but God has given us gifts and talents to share his love. I am taking all of these moments I am having lately as “this is where you are supposed to be” moments.